Win a Trip for Two to the Newt Gingrich’s Moon Base
Every visitor to Newt Gingrich’s Moon Base will receive:
- An autographed picture of Newt himself.
- A Newt Gingrich 2012 Pen leftover from presidential campaign.
- A Newt Gingrich 2012 Shirt left over from presidential campaign.
- A totally free one-year membership to the Newt Gingrich Fan club.
- A Newt Gingrich foam finger.
- Jewelry grab bag from Tiffany’s.
Features of the month-long stay include:
- Spaceship Taxi voucher good for one round-trip flight to Earth and Back
- Personalized wake-up calls from Newt
- One personal suite
- Two twin beds (converted to king)
- Arm chair
- Coffee table
- Full bathroom with shower/whirlpool tub/double sinks
- At the Newt Gingrich Moon Base, all bathroom and kitchen drains lead one main sewage compartment. If you get up early enough, you might be able to catch a glimpse of the popular tourist attraction called “releasing of the waste.” Watch as a day’s worth of water and excrement get released into the atmosphere in one of the most dazzling, yet disturbing, displays of beauty.
- Mix-and-match room sharing options available for couples in an “Open Marriage.”
A Passport is Required for Travel
Since Newt Gingrich has declared his moon base colony a separate country, you’ll need to bring your passport for entry into the base. Newt’s Moon Base Law also requires everyone to recite the Newt Moon Pledge upon entrance. Please memorize the following pledge for recitation:
“I pledge to vote for Newt Gingrich if he ever decides to run again for the office of the President of the United States.”
Bring Cash for Medical Expenses.
Unfortunately, universal healthcare does not include the moon. Be sure to bring extra cash and any medications you might need.
Bid on a Trip to Newt Gingrich’s Moon Base here:
- United States: